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I'm planning on going fairly in-depth into helping you to get yourself schooled up and solid enough on the topic of how to ask a girl out and get a "yes" in this post. We're going to cover a lot of ground here today.
So on that note, I've split this article up into two subsections. That way, if you're just skimming for the main points, or don't have a lot of time to get all the way through it all, you can take a look through these 3 most vital points now, and then you can come back to the rest later when you have more time or need more tips.
Let's dive into the 3 essential tips you can start using right away to start getting you some "yes"es.
HOW TO ASK A GIRL OUT: STRIKE WHILE THE IRON'S HOT
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The guy who's sitting around, biding his time, waiting for the "perfect moment"... and then of course ends up waiting forever, because the "perfect moment" never arrives.
How often have you had a girl you really liked, that you were waiting for the "perfect moment" to ask out? Probably pretty often, right? If you're like I used to be back in school, you probably have 1 or 2 girls at all times that you're just waiting for the right moment for... and you might very well end up waiting on that moment forever.
Well, new news: women don't wait around forever. They've got options. Competition's fierce.
What that means for you is, if you wait around, you don't get the girl.
On top of that, because attraction has an expiration date, the longer you wait to make something happen with a woman, the lesser her attraction for you becomes -- and the more likely she is to be closed off to doing anything with you.
That means, you ought to ask girls out soon. Like, as soon as you realize you like them, just about, you ask them out. Not a week after you decide you like a girl; not a month later. You ask her out within a few days of realizing you'd like to ask her out -- preferably, you ask her out within a few minutes of realizing you'd like to ask her out.
The less time elapses between the moment you realize you'd like to ask a girl out, and the moment you start your feet moving to go over to talk to her and ask her out, the higher the likelihood is that both A) you ask her out at all, ever, and B) she says "yes."
And I know, that's a little intimidating -- especially if she's really cute and you like her a lot. "Because," you might ask yourself, "what if she says 'no?'"
But here's something else to think about -- what if you never ask her? How many days and nights will you spend tearing yourself up inside just thinking about her wondering, fantasizing, dreaming -- when all you had to do was ask?
Here's what asking right away does for you:
It greatly increases the odds you get her while she's still receptive to you
It gets you an answer, now, definitively, so you aren't left wondering forever
It allows you to start actually spending time with her, if she says "yes," instead of spending time thinking about her -- much less fun
It starts getting you experience and starts training you to have an easier and easier time talking to girls and asking them out.
At worst, asking a girl out right away compels you to realize that a girl saying "no" isn't the end of the world. And at best... you end up with your dream girl.
See why this is a good thing?
DON'T MAKE THE ASKING OUT A BIG DEAL
I guess if you lived on the American frontier or you were a sea captain in jolly old England a hundred years ago or something, formality and big-deal-making was a nifty way of having stuff feel special.
Now it just makes everybody nervous. Who wants to be invited on some big, fancy date?
The order of the day in the modern era is "casual." Nobody goes and does formal courtship anymore. In fact, the only time you'll ever even hear women talking about how much they wished a man would ask them on a formal date is when they're near the end of their twenties, and they start talking about how they've had their fill of one-night stands and bad boys and now they're finally ready to have a gentleman come and court them and eventually marry them and take care of them.
Meantime, of course, while some guy is courting them, they're often still having casual things going on with the less formal guys. I know, because I've been both of those guys.
Whatever you might hear otherwise, women don't like formal dates. They don't respond to them. They might think it's a classy, romantic idea, but formal dates don't get women in your bed, and they don't get women being your lovers or your girlfriends the majority of the time either.
Formal dates kinda suck.
So then what do you do? You simplify your dates -- more on this later -- and you ask women out in a super chill, casual way.
Like so:
Hey Chidimma, what's your schedule like this week? Let's grab some food or a drink.
Boom, done. Not so hard once the formality's gone. Don't kill yourself trying to figure out exactly the perfect thing to say -- you're just asking her out.
ASK A GIRL OUT ON A HIGH NOTE
Don't just walk up to her and ask her out of the blue (or when she's in the middle of talking to all of her friends with about 200 people standing around watching).
Instead, ask her out on a high note.
If you want to know how to ask a girl out and get a "yes" almost every single time, this one is absolutely the key to the whole thing. You ask her out when she's enjoying talking to you -- and she's going to say "yes."
You know when most inexperienced guys ask a girl out? It's either:
Out of the blue, like 14 years old me,
While she's in the midst of conversation with other people, like 14 years old me, or
As a conversation with her is circling the drain and it feels like it's now or never.
Rephrased, most guys ask girls out when:
It feels random and awkward, or
It feels like there's no connection between them and, again, it's awkward.
No wonder so many guys are terrified to ask girls out, and/or not all that good at it. They ask at the wrong damn times in the wrong damn situations!
Honestly, if some random guy started talking to you, and then you guys talked and talked, and then started running out of conversation, and then it started feeling a little awkward, and then he was like, "Hey buddy, we should go grab a drink some time," how excited are you to say yes?
Now compare that to some random guy who's started talking to you, and he feels like your long lost best friend, and the two of you are in the middle of laughing at some story he just told, and he says, "Hey pal, we ought to go grab a beer later this week."
On that second one, you're probably going to say, "Sure man, let's do it!"
Why? Because it was proposed on a high note.
Women don't decide things because they logically make sense; women decide things because they emotionally do.
And even for men like us, who don't rely on feeling as much as women do, when someone asks you to spend more time with them when you're already enjoying spending time with them, in the very midst of that enjoyment, like in that second example above, you're certainly going to agree, almost always.
And when they ask you to spend more time with them when it feels weird or awkward or random or challenging to keep spending time with them, like in that first example above, you're likely to decline, because you don't want to be feeling that again.
The emotion is key.
So what high notes do you look for?
She's laughing
She's telling you a lot about herself
She's staring at you like she wants to grab you and tear your clothes off
Things like that. If she's smiling and talking with you and laughing, that's a pretty good indication she's enjoying herself with you -- and that she'd be open to spending more time with you and enjoying more interaction and conversation with you. Ask her out.
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